


Song of all Songs

by TopMomn



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-19 06:28:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16529213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TopMomn/pseuds/TopMomn
Summary: 'When will I be something other than the second son of the king’s sister?'Kili is tired of being overlooked and treated like a child by his uncle, and all the other dwarves of the Blue Mountains for that matter. They might see him as nothing more than a spoiled young prince, but deep down he is bursting with ideas, songs... and an unnatural attraction to some very un-dwarf like characteristics like high cheekbones and creamy skin.When he finally meets a woman who sees him as something more than his title he'll have to fight the prejudices of his kin and hers to make a life for them... all while proving his worth as a prince of Durin's Folk.Begins shortly before "An Unexpected Journey" and runs concurrently with the movie trilogy.





	1. Debt

Debt 

Kíli’s point of view 

 

“If it weren’t for your big feet-” Fíli shoves me from behind as I throw open the doors to Ma’s halls and drop the battered leather ball onto the floor, along with my outermost layers. Stumbling for a second, I launch my shoulder backward into him with a laugh. 

 

“Your feet are bigger than mine! And you’re the one who threw it too high-” Throwing his arm around my neck, he almost brings me down to the ground before I am saved by our mother’s voice. 

 

“Gultalût!” Giving us a look fit for a pair of ‘tiny boars’, she nods in the direction of her dining hall and advises us to quiet down, wash up and come to supper. “Your uncle is here.” Giving each other sideways glances, we nod and hurry to do so… both of us wondering what we’ve done wrong now.  

 

“Lucky,” I tease Fíli as I push past him through the entry to our shared bedchamber. “She saved you – I was about to flip you over my shoulder!” 

 

“You were about to surrender,” he scoffs with a knowing smirk. “And what have you done now? Tell me and I’ll cover for you!” 

“I haven’t done anything!” I protest, quickly scrubbing up with a wet towel. “Maybe it’s you for a change.” Dismissing the idea, he flips his own washrag towards the bowl but misses – sending it flying onto my mattress with a wet splat. “Slob!” I bark. “Living with you is like living with hogs! I can’t wait until I don’t have to wake up to your stench every morning!” Still arguing about whose habits are viler as we enter the dining hall, we fall silent when we see Thorin standing behind our mother’s chair, his hands on her shoulders in comfort. Whatever we’ve done this time, it must be bad… judging by the somber look on their faces.  

 

Waiting until we’re seated to take his own place at the head of the table, Thorin says nothing for nearly a minute, instead serving himself and pretending as if we weren’t here. Waiting to speak until we’re spoken to is torture, and finally I open my mouth to break the silence, only to be stopped with a kick from Fíli. The look on his face warns me not to make it worse – whatever ‘it’ is.  

 

“You’ve been successful,” Thorin finally says, calmly, as he places his glass on the table and sits back. “In your nudnul akadâm, I mean.” Sensing my brother’s annoyance at the description of our work as merchant escorts as ‘boyish adventures’, I quickly answer for us both. 

 

“Yes, we’ve done very well! In fact, we’re thinking of going-” 

 

“How much have you earned?” Deferring to Fíli, I wait for him to tally the exact amounts, not being very good at tracking figures myself. My brother dutifully answers each question, all the while looking at me uncomfortably. We’re both thinking the same thing… why does he want to know?  

 

“It’s enough to establish our own halls,” I speak up, earning a frown from Ma. It’s been a contentious subject lately, and the idea of us no longer living under her roof has been met with fierce resistance. Hoping to find an ally in Thorin, I start to explain that it’s time for us to be counted among the dwarves of the Blue Mountains. After all, it was his opinion that finally convinced her we should be allowed to venture out and earn a living of our own. ‘ _They’ve clung to your skirts long enough. They need to learn how to make themselves useful_ ,’ he said when I finally turned 75. “Uncle, don’t you think we’re old enough-” 

 

“I do.” Sounding more ominous than encouraging, he pushes his plate away and leans forward with his hands folded on the table, examining us in turn. “That is why you will both help to fill this.” Nodding towards a dusty coffer box on the floor, he explains that we are going to use what we have earned to repay a debt.  

 

“A debt?” Fíli asks, giving me an annoyed look. Returning it defiantly, I shake my head – this has nothing to do with me!  _One time_  he had to bail me out on a lost wager… and that was five years ago! I’ve hardly had to borrow anything since! Surely Thorin isn’t saying that we must give up –  

 

“When Erebor fell,” he begins, stilling us both immediately. “We roamed for over 30 years, taking any work we could to support ourselves and those dependent on us,” he nods to Ma whose eyes show a sadness that only comes when that time is mentioned. “Most were indifferent to our suffering… some were blatantly cruel.” Restless in my seat, I think to myself that’s the kind of debt I want to repay – one of revenge! “But a few were kind.” Explaining that in the kingdom of Tharbad, in the southern region of Eriador, there lived a young king who was sympathetic to Durin’s Folk. He goes on to tell how after the Battle of Azanulbizar that king welcomed our remaining warriors with rest and care until they were ready to travel again. “Some might say that without his help we may have never claimed the Blue Mountains as our own.”  

 

“A king of men?” I snort, outraged at the idea that the kingdom of Thorin’s Gate exists because of anything more than our uncle’s leadership and our kin’s perseverance.  

 

“Yes,” Thorin snaps, unable to hide his irritation at the memory of needing help from anyone. “And when that king heard that the Princess Dís was expecting the first royal child to be born in our new kingdom he sent this-” Again, he gestures to the chest. “-so that he or she would be born into the comfort long denied to our family.” 

 

“Well, if it was for you I don’t see why-” I mutter to Fíli, only to be silenced with a stern look from our uncle. 

 

“Because you’ve both benefitted,” he growls. “Perhaps too much.” Fíli nods, but I sit back in my chair, annoyed. Our ‘spoiling’ has long been a source of conflict between Ma and Thorin. “And because the dwarves of Erebor have never needed charity, especially from the likes of men, I considered it then a loan. Now that the princes it was intended for have come of age it is time for them to repay it.” Seeing the goal of my own halls disappearing from within my grasp, I bring my fist down on the table with such force that the dishes rattle against each other.  

 

“It will take everything we’ve earned to fill that! You can’t take-” 

 

“Let me repay the debt,” Ma intervenes in a placating voice that occasionally works with her older brother. “I have enough three times over now. I am more than –” 

“And what lesson will that serve?” Thorin demands. “Someday Fíli will be king,” he starts his usual explanation of how unprepared my brother is for leadership. “What does he know of sacrifice?”  

 

“We’ll do as you say, Irak'adad,” Fíli bows his head, not happy with the news but knowing better than to argue. Not having mastered obedience as well, I shove my chair back and jump up without being excused.  

 

“You know, I could be king one day too,” I scoff, causing Ma to quickly whisper a protection over Fíli against my invitation of bad luck. 

 

“In that case,” Thorin replies coolly, immune to my outbursts as usual. “Mahal help your subjects.” Ignoring the clatter of my chair and our mother’s calls for me to wait as I storm from the room, I don’t stop until I reach the narrow crack in the mountain I’ve been visiting for twelve years now… the one I’ve dreamt of widening into at first one room and then more... the one that would be my own halls.  

 

Slipping inside, I slide my back down the wall until I’m sitting on the floor. But instead of seeing the cave fall away into a grand hall in my mind's eye… this time I see the walls closing in tighter. When will I have something of my own, if not now that I’ve finally saved enough for the labor and materials to begin? When will I be something other than the second son of the king’s sister? 

“It isn’t fair.” Sitting in the near-darkness for a long time with my head and folded arms resting on my knees, I sigh when I hear Fíli sneaking in. “You’re not that good,” I mumble. “I heard you coming a mile away… smelled you first, though.” Chuckling, he settles onto the cold ground next to me and we sit in silence for a while. I know everything he has to say, and I’m in no rush to hear it. 

 

“It’ll be a great hall,” he finally says, looking up to where the walls disappear into a black void. “It will be yours – someday.” 

 

“Someday was due to come sooner rather than later.” Ignoring my grumbling, he explains that we’re due to accompany Thorin to Tharbad himself, leaving the day after tomorrow. I understand why we are being forced to go – probably to drive home some lesson about humility or something like that. One thing confuses me, though. “Why is Thorin going? He never leaves the mountains.” 

 

“Maybe to be sure we don’t make some blunder?” Fíli reasons with a shrug. It’s as good as an explanation as any, and as Ma would say: it really doesn’t matter why… all that matters is that it is. We’re going to turn over nearly all our money to men, and if it isn’t enough to have it taken from me, I will have to offer it up myself.  

 

“Well… I don’t care what reasons he has for any of it,” I say, knowing I sound petulant. “There’s got to be some way to learn sacrifice besides this!” 

 

“Kíli,” my brother sighs. Leaving the rest of his thoughts unsaid, he stands and offers me his hand. Following him back home with my shoulders slumped, I turn and take one more look at everything I’ve been working for up until now with a dull ache of anger. Nothing I can learn from some exercise of Thorin’s is as important as my freedom, I insist silently… and there’s nothing I can learn or find in any kingdom of men that would serve me any better than finally becoming the master of my own life.  

 

 


	2. Poor, Funny Looking Creatures

Poor, Funny Looking Creatures 

Willa’s point of view 

“Princess Wilfreda, Your Majesty.” Straightening my dress from behind one last time as I’m announced, Tamsin whispers that no matter what the outcome is she appreciates my effort.  

 

“I hope he appreciates it too. This is becoming tiresome,” I whisper back before entering. Relaxing back in his seat, grateful for a reprieve from important matters, my father greats me with a tender smile as I curtsy deeply enough that my knee brushes the floor. “Your Majesty.” 

“So lovely,” he praises as he gestures for me to stand. “But please don’t strain yourself for me, Willa.” Insisting that it is no trouble to show him respect, I accept Tamsin’s help in standing again before dismissing her. “Come, come. How are you feeling this week?” Gesturing to his knee, Father puts his arm around me as I sit as lightly as I can, balancing so as not to aggravate his achy bones. Politely pretending to believe that I am feeling fine, he casually adds that it good to see me back at court, finally. Stiffening, I quickly change the topic. I’m not ready to talk about that today. 

 

“Thank you. I was… disappointed, however,” I begin cautiously, “not to see Ellar here.” 

 

“Ah.” Chuckling to himself at having been caught off guard, he adjusts my weight in his lap so that he can settle further into his throne for this discussion.  “I should have known this was not an innocent visit.” 

 

“I haven’t been put up to anything! However, I do feel somewhat responsible-” 

 

“Willa, do you know how long it took to round up those cows?” Hesitating, I reply that I’ve heard it took quite a while. “Two days. Not to mention the compensation for damage – wait until I’m finished, please. Suffice to say that it has been one of his more expensive pranks.” 

 

“And he is willing to make restitution. You know why he did it, Father… he was angry.” Nodding, he pulls me closer so that I can lay my head on his shoulder. 

 

“I was too, Willa-the-wisp,” he confesses. “But being angry is something a man should be able to control at Ellar’s age. And, while it may have been hurtful, Donnel did not do anything wrong – technically.” I can see that explanation of my very public humiliation offers him as little comfort to say as it does for me to hear. I know that in time my father may make Donnel suffer for embarrassing me, but that will also be of little comfort. As I tried to explain to Ellar… there is nothing that can be done to make me feel better. I’ll have to make peace with it in my own way. “Come now, no more talk of this unpleasantness… what would you like for your birthday? Another pretty gown?” 

 

“Your magnanimity is gift enough,” I answer politely, earning a smile of approval. “And I already have everything I could wish for. But perhaps...” Thinking of the success that my ‘pet project’ has seen over the last year, I mention my hope of being able to expand our efforts concerning the welfare of the needy in our kingdom. “If it would please you, of course.” 

 

“Your heart for service pleases me very much,” He takes my hands in one of his, reminding me again of how small I still am next to him.  

 

“And if I may ask one more thing?” Waiting expectantly, he sighs in defeat when I add my request to have Ellar attend dinner tonight: both of us knowing it is unlikely he would deny me such a thing. 

 

“Only for you,” he teases as he pinches my nose, the way he has since I was a child. “But I’m holding you responsible for his behavior,” he warns. “You’re the only one he behaves for.” Hardly, I think to myself as I cross my fingers behind my back in hopes that the visits he has made to Tamsin under the guise of spending time with his ‘dear sister’ don’t come to light.    

 

“Thank you, Father… he will be a paragon of proper behavior, I promise.” 

 

“Indeed. And, speaking of your natal feast…” Playing the same game as when I was a little girl, he pretends to produce a small trinket from my ear, as if by magic. “...this is in honor of you.” Accepting the silver coin with a puzzled smile, I examine it closely. The face is my profile in relief and the reverse is a tiny swan above my royal motto:  _The love of the people is my reward._   

 

“My own coinage? Father, I had no idea!” 

 

“You may distribute some of them as alms this week. They will go into circulation officially after the feast.” 

 

“It’s beautiful! But you shouldn’t have,” I argue, only to be cut off.  

 

“Of course I should!” Taking my palm and resting it against his cheek, he explains softly that the day is coming when we will no longer celebrate the date of my birth together, likely sooner than either of us want to admit. Leaning down to hug him tightly, I want to say something that will express how I feel… but find that my throat is too strangled with emotion.  

 

“Your Majesty?” Sighing at the interruption that always seems to come between us, my father asks what it could possibly be now. “You asked to be informed, sire, when King Thorin arrived.” Straightening up immediately, Father nods and instructs that he be shown in right away.   

 

“Imagine that… I’m half surprised he actually came!” King Thorin? Confident that I know the names of all sovereigns we are in league with, I search my memory for this one but come up empty. I know it is not my place to ask however, and force myself to put aside my curiosity as I wait to be dismissed. The realm’s business is my father’s business… today all I am concerned about is my brother’s reinstatement. “I’m sorry, my Willa-the-wisp,” Father prods, gently letting me know that I am excused.  

 

“Of course,” I quickly curtsy again and thank him humbly for his many kindnesses to a lowly daughter. But as soon as the door of his hall is shut I allow a small smile to my lady in waiting, feeling quite pleased with myself. 

 

“Ellar is right… you do work miracles!” I ask where he is so that I might inform him of his good news, only to be pinched in my ribs from behind. 

 

“Ow! Ellar! What are you doing –” Spinning around, I come face to face with none other than he who was banished from court until only a minute ago. 

 

“I knew he’d never say no to you,” he jokes, giving a nod over my head to his usual circle of friends, mostly ne'er-do-well sons of lords. “And he knows I’ll only get into more trouble if I’m not here where he can keep an eye on me!” 

 

“Well, I’ll be the one keeping an eye; he’s put me in charge of making sure you behave!” Laughing, he kisses my cheek before taking Tamsin’s hand with a wink.  

 

“In that case, don’t worry, my dearest sister… I’ll make you proud. Now, if you would excuse Lady Tamsin from her duties for a little-”    

 

“King Thorin, son of Thráin, son of Thrór, King of the Blue Mountains,” my father’s court marshal announces loudly. Shushing Ellar when he starts to make a joke about what kind of man comes with such a lengthy title, I stand at strict attention as everyone in the room cranes their neck and whispers amongst themselves. A collective silence falls, but only for a split second, when into the room strides of all things  _a dwarf_. A wave of murmurs breaks out, but if he hears them he shows no response. Instead, he stands as tall as his diminutive stature will allow, with his hands at his sides and a grim look on his face. “Prince Fíli, son of Kalin. Prince Kíli, son of Kalin.” 

 

“Well, I’ll be…” Delivering an elbow backwards into his ribs, I level a warning look at my brother before turning my full attention to the two princes standing behind their king. I’ve never seen one dwarf in my life, and now here are three! One, a sturdy blond-haired dwarf, stands impassively behind his leader, calmly waiting for whatever comes next. The other looks ready to escape, equal parts annoyed and uneasy. He’s dark like the king, but lacks the beard and squatness I always imaged made up a dwarf’s appearance. However, when he rubs his thick fingers across his nose I decide that he is certainly one of them. “Poor, funny looking creatures,” Ellar mutters before jumping out of my reach.  

 

“That they are,” Tamsin whispers in agreement. “Pitiful, really.” 

 

The room seems to be holding a collective breath and it’s Ellar’s subtle poke into my back that alerts me to the fact that everyone is looking to us for what to do next. Realizing I have been staring at each of them in turn, but have settled on the young one the longest, I feel that awful heat creep over my cheeks and know that I’ll soon be suffering from my dreaded flush. Trying to hold it at bay with deep, calming breaths, I step aside to make room for my brother to stand ahead of me in his rightful place. He bows to King Thorin, but only nods to the two behind him as they are his equals. Clenching my teeth in pain, I slowly lower myself to the floor in a deep curtsy. Pitiful creatures or not… a visiting king and princes outrank a princess by any measure.  

 

“Prince Ellar of Enedwaith, Earl of Mitheithel, Baron Eregion. Princess Wilfreda of Enedwaith.” I feel unusually insecure of my comparatively puny title when King Thorin nods to my brother, but struggles to spare me a disinterested look. Guessing correctly that I am unimportant to his purposes here, he barely grunts when I lower my chin to my chest and welcome him and his princes to my father’s lands. Following our example, everyone in the hall also lowers themselves in supplication – whether they consider dwarves worthy of it or not.  

 

“King Thorin! Welcome!” Rising quickly with an excited fluttering, the crowd turns towards my father as he emerges to greet his visitor personally instead of waiting for him to be announced privately… an honor reserved for the most illustrious or highly anticipated guests. Meeting each other in the middle of the room, King Thorin nods politely when my father clasps his hands on his shoulders and delights in finally having him as an honored guest.  

 

Everyone continues to twitter softly as the two kings disappear into a conference that no one else is entitled to participate in… leaving me unnoticed, still in my curtsy. The third one of the day has proven to be too much for my body, and I am trapped in a position I cannot possibly extricate myself from gracefully. Peeking up, I find Ellar already carrying on convivially with the fair-haired dwarf, having never met a stranger in his life. More distressingly, I spot Tamsin in a whispered conversation with another lady, also oblivious to my predicament.  

 

“Do you need some help… Princess?” A voice above me asks, earning a skip of my pulse. To need help, and for it to come from a dwarf? The idea is unbearable, but the reality is... tolerable. Raising my eyes to his, I melt at the kindness I see in them. Irrationally, I forget for a moment that I am not down here for the purpose of looking up into his face until, finally, he reaches out his hand and starts to pull me up.   

 

“Oh!” I cry in pain as my body betrays me yet again, threatening to send me back down to the floor just as I get my feet under me. Ellar and his new companion turn and spring forward instinctively, but they aren’t needed: I am already caught and being held quite firmly. 

 

“Whoa!” He soothes, his quick reflexes taking over despite having to nearly pick me up off of his shoes. “Lean on me,” he offers as he sets me on my feet, but instead I pull back with a flinch as the reality of the situation sets in. All the conversation around us has paused as everyone watches with interest… their princess, unable to stand on her own two feet, in the arms of a dwarf.  

 

“Willa,” Ellar touches my shoulder, looking guilty at having forgotten me for a moment. “Let me take you to rest.” 

 

“M-my lord,” I manage to murmur to the dwarf, thanking him while trying to ignore everyone’s concern… as well as the memory of his hands encircling my waist.  

 

“My lady!” Tamsin squeaks in horror as she flies out of nowhere to support me. Shaking her off, I force my back straight despite the pain and smile politely to the dwarf princes.  

 

“Welcome,” I manage tightly. “Prince Fíli… and Prince Kíli.” 

“At your service,” they reply in unison with a bow, and I nod before turning and fleeing the scene as quickly as I’m able.  

 

“What is your face about?” Ellar whispers with wide eyes as we finally, mercifully, pass the threshold marking the privy chambers. “Was it something he-” 

 

“Now who is the poor, funny looking creature?” I blurt, tearfully, as I hear the whispers resume behind us at a fever pitch and wonder if my indignities will ever end.  


	3. Always Careful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those who read and left kudos - thank you! This is the first story I've shared in five years and a brand new genre for me... so it is nice to know people have checked it out.

Always Careful

Kíli's point of view

 

"Your commitment to making everyone as miserable as you is impressive."

 

"You don't look miserable." I rock back onto the rear legs of my chair as Fíli pulls on his coat and brushes the fur collar. "But, as usual, you're just going to go along with what you're told."

 

"When I've been told by our king? Yes." I consider a few petulant responses, but end up abandoning them. It won't do any good to argue with Fíli. It isn't his fault. In truth, it's the envy I feel over his calm demeanor that bothers me more than anything else… well, almost anything else.

 

"So... what do you think was wrong with her?" I finally blurt, regretting it when he gives me a confused look over his shoulder.

 

"You mean the princess? Who knows. Ma always said men are fragile – susceptible to things we're not." Mulling that answer over for a moment, I look up when I notice the silence has stretched on unnaturally. "Kíli... I saw your face when you caught her," he begins awkwardly. I give him an innocent, baffled look – but he isn't fooled. He's the only one who knows of the unnatural attraction I've realized over the last year of traveling and working in the lands of men. The attraction to that which is forever off limits: those smooth, hairless cheeks and long, slender figures... there's been a few women who have caught my attention, but none like her. "Just be careful," he pleads before warning me of the dangers of getting carried away.

 

"Who, me?" I shrug, almost tipping my chair over backward in the process. "You know me – I'm always careful!" Even as I brush off his concerns, I understand what he is saying. This isn't like winking at a passing peasant. This would be like trying to hold fire without getting burned. But can I help it if fire fell into my hands?

 

"Sure, of course you are," he snorts but drops the subject for now. "There." Turning around to face me, he holds his arms out to show off how well he cleans up just as there is a knock on our door, announcing dinner. "Let's eat!"

"It's tiny food, I bet." Grumbling, I follow him into the hall outside the quarters we've been given here in Nîn-in-Eilph Palace. "Fancy, smelly cheeses…"

 

"Well, just continue being yourself and they'll never invite you back," he interrupts my grumbling, still not allowing himself to be aggravated by my complaining.

 

"I bet they hide us in a dark corner," I add as we are led down a staircase of gold and marble. This is who I must turn every penny I've made over to? It probably won't even be as much as they're spending on this party, I sulk as I catch sight of at least a hundred people milling around below us in a sea of brightly colored silks and satins.

 

"Prince Fíli, Prince Kíli?" A tall man with a handsome face that I instantly detest greets us with a bow that feels as over the top as the rest of him. "I am Lord Donnel, Keeper of the Privy Seal. I'll be escorting you this evening." Rolling my eyes once his back is turned earns me a blow to my side from Fíli. Staring at the back of his head as we pass through a crowd that parts for us, I realize what it is that bothers me about this man. He looks like the sort she would have gladly held onto in a moment of need… not shoved away like a rotten log.

"Dark corner, huh?" Fíli teases, breaking me from the memory of her eyes as they stared into mine just as I reach a realization of what was odd about the moment… she's the first person I've encountered here who met my eyes on the same level. Looking up at what my brother is nodding to, I feel my gut lurch at the sight of her, the same diminutive princess, seated at the head table with an empty chair on either side of her. Those couldn't be for us, I groan inwardly.

 

"Princess Wilfreda," Lord Donnel bows deeply, earning a stricken look from her that eases into something more like pleasure when she spots us behind him. "Prince Fíli and Prince Kili, princes of the line of Durin."

 

"Yes, of course," she replies, waving him away daintily. "Thank you, my lord." Seemingly grateful to be excused, he extends a hand toward our chairs before vanishing into the crowd as if he never existed. "My lords," she smiles with a respectful nod as we slide in next to her, giving me an almost unnoticed sideways glance. "I hope you have settled in since we last spoke. Have your quarters been acceptable?"

 

Jumping in to answer before I can say anything, Fíli keeps his tone strictly business as he thanks her. Realizing he is going to prevent me from having any fun, I prop my chin in my hand and give him a scowl over her head. Worse yet, I'm trapped next to Thorin, and therefore quickly resign myself to the idea I'm not going to get away with anything at this dinner. Luckily, though, there is plenty of food… even if it is tiny, as I suspected. Meanwhile, Thorin and the king are still locked in some kind of intense discussion – just as they have been since we arrived five hours ago. I'm still not sure why we were dragged along on this trip just to be ignored. Even more confounding, it seems that Fíli has found something to talk to the princess about. When I turn back from loading my plate with all the meat in reach, I spot him nodding thoughtfully to something she is explaining in great detail. He's only doing this so that I can't talk to her, I bet. Traitor.

 

"These are my sister-sons," I overhear Thorin explaining and look up just in time to see her father smiling benevolently at me.

 

"Which is the fellow whose birthday is nearly my own?" Our uncle explains that would be Fíli and the king laughs and says that he hopes his daughter isn't torturing the poor fellow with endless talk about serious subjects. "She has inherited an inability to put aside responsibility from me, I'm afraid. But worse – as she can't even be tempted with wine, being such a staunch believer in temperance."

 

"In that case, they would do well to take some lessons from her," Thorin grumbles. "Especially the younger of the two." Pretending as if I didn't hear him, I keep watching Fíli for signs that he is ready to give up the ruse of being invested in their conversation. However, he keeps nodding with interest before… no, it can't be. Is he smiling?

 

Indeed he is, smiling at something she is saying that I am obviously not a part of. Unwilling to call what I'm feeling jealousy, I still wonder why he's not as ill at ease separated from me as I am being separated from him. And what could he have done that made him worth talking to… but not me? Determined not to let this stand, I sit up in my seat and flash a childish expression at him. His eyes flicker to me, but then are drawn right back to the princess – too involved in what she is saying to acknowledge me. That's it, then. This can't be allowed. Leaning to the side so that I must surely be visible over her shoulder, I pull a face that I know he won't be able to ignore.

"Oh!" Turning quickly to see what has caused her partner in conversation to be distracted, she comes nearly nose to nose with me… and the hideous look I'm making. Worse than the fact that Fíli looks as if he would strike me if he could reach, and the sensation of Thorin's eyes burning into the back of my head… is the wounded look in her eyes. "I suppose I deserve that for talking so much." Pulling back, she folds in on herself with embarrassment and quickly locks away whatever she had been talking to my brother so passionately about.

 

"No! No… I-" Cut off from any attempt at an apology by her refusal to look at me again, I sink down in my seat and lower my eyes to the table so as not to meet anyone else's stare – especially Fíli's.

 

"What's going on here?!" A stern voice barks, silencing all conversation at the table. "You think you have the right to sit next to my sister?" Glaring at us, the prince we met earlier scowls down as he places his hands on the opposite side of the head table and leans forward menacingly. Neither of us says a word, but exchange looks. 'Whatever happens, let me handle it,' Fíli is telling me silently… as if I can't even be trusted to handle a dinner table dispute. Thorin tenses, but before he can intervene an exasperated voice puts the man in his place.

 

"Ellar, you promised me." Breaking out into a grin, he drops into a crouch across the table from us and rests his chin on his folded arms.

 

"I'm kidding you two. I've been exiled to no man's land," he explains, nodding towards a faraway table in the corner. "So I just came to see what I'm missing." He looks from his sister to me with a knowing smile. "And it's obviously something good because it looks like she's mad at you… which must mean you're doing something right."

 

"Ellar! Hush." Swiping a handful of grapes from his sister's plate, he complains loudly that he hasn't even been fed yet before leaning in and whispering to her conspiratorially.

 

"Watch out, I heard he wants to make some sort of public apology. If you want me to, I'll go ahead and kill him now, though." Knowing we are missing some vital piece of information, I watch as she pales and exhales a shaky breath before saying that he is not to do anything, or so help her- "Fine, fine." Disappointed that there will be no violence, the prince turns back to me. "Just so you know, one of you lucky 'guests of honor' should probably dance with her tonight." Hoping my face isn't as red as it feels over the thought, I peek at her and see that she is blushing too. "I feel bad for you, though… she's so clumsy… and those big feet? It's like being trampled to death by a jackrabbit."

 

"Ellar-"

 

"If I were you, I'd make her dance with-" He nods boldly towards Thorin, who glowers back, but finally stops his teasing in a manner that suggests he has been kicked under the table. It's implied that it is time to return to his seat and he shrugs with a helpless laugh. "Probably right!" Before leaving, he snickers at Fíli and me in turn and adds that it's lucky dwarves are partial to boots, seeing as they'll protect us from her clomping dance steps. "And hey - at least she'll finally have a dance partner her own size!"

 

"Ellar!" Bounding away before she can lash out above or below the table, he retreats with a cheerful wave, leaving us in silence. "My apologies for my brother," she sighs.

 

"It's all right – I've got one too," Fíli replies, making a rude face of his own at me that is so discreet only I see it. How is he always able to get away with so much more?

 

"I like him," I say, earning, finally, a small smile from her.

 

"So do I," she admits fondly. "Of course, he's always been the most likable of us all." Before I can stop to think it through, I give her a wink and reply that I'm not so sure about that. Her cheeks burn and her eyes widen. "O-oh?" Stuttering, she looks relieved when her father stands and the room turns its attention to him, giving her a reason to look away. Catching a stare from Fíli, I pretend I don't know what he means when he furrows his brow and mouths, 'Careful.'

 

"Welcome dear friends, family, and noble lords and ladies," her father begins, and I groan inwardly as I realize a speech is coming. "Tomorrow's date marks the eighteenth year that we have all had the privilege of knowing and loving our Princess Wilfreda." He stops so that she may receive applause and smiles in approval when she lowers her eyes demurely. "She has been a source of immeasurable joy in my life, and in the life of our people…"

 

Peeking again to my left, I see that even though she is turned politely towards her father... her eyes are watching me. Hoping for a chance to undo what damage I inflicted with my stupid face, I give her as earnest a look as I can muster and hope it will work on her the way it does on Ma. They may not be the same race, but they're both females… and that must count for something? Unsure of how to respond, she hesitates before smiling back and that split second of reluctance feels like a small victory. If I'm confused over her it's only fair she returns the favor.

 

"Daughter?" Jumping at the realization that the whole room is waiting expectantly, she turns back to her father. "Will you welcome our guests?" Nodding, but looking as if she would rather do anything else, she rises and looks at Thorin.

 

"King Thorin… son of Thror, son of Thrain," she repeats slowly, as if she has been memorizing it, "Prince Fíli, son of Kalin. Prince… Kili, son of Kalin," she finishes with a tremor in her voice, deliberately not looking me in the eye as if she's afraid of turning to stone; or worse, forgetting her lines. "I am honored that you could be here tonight… our kingdoms share a special bond that my father, King Albe, looks forward to strengthening." Sitting down quickly, she fiddles with a diamond ring on her right hand and manages a tight smile when Thorin has our chest presented in honor of her birthday. Her eighteenth birthday. Barely a blink in the life of a dwarf, but I choose not to think about that now… instead watching her expression soften as she graciously accepts the gift and promises to use it to improve the lives of the poor.

 

"As of today, I'm the poor," I slip, grumbling again at the sight of all our earnings being carried away for safekeeping. Thorin kicks the side of my foot painfully as everyone settles back into their own conversations again and the music begins anew. Adding insult to injury, the same man as before, the lord of the privy, or whatever his title was, approaches... sending Princess Wilfreda sinking in her seat as if she is hoping to find a trap door under the table. "There's no escape," I whisper. "Believe me, I looked."

 

"Please… not now," she murmurs. I entertain the idea of asking her to dance before he can, but it seems so out of the realm of possibility that I dismiss it regretfully.

 

"Princess Wilfreda, would you like to dance?" She and I both turn to look at Fíli with varying looks of disbelief. Even he doesn't seem convinced that the words he spoke actually came from him, but holds out his hand anyway with a cheerful smile.

 

"I… I suppose I would?" She asks more than answers as she accepts, placing her slim hand in his thick one and rising stiffly to her feet. With one last look back at me, she follows my brother to the gleaming floor and allows him to turn her around once before grabbing onto his shoulder for support.

 

"What in the name of Mahal is he doing?" Thorin grumbles as he leans in close enough that only I will hear.

 

"I don't know," I bite back in my own gravelly tone, hating the emotion I hear between my words. But he had better be careful with her, I think as he spins them a little too fast for my taste… and a little too close as well.

 


	4. Brothers

Brothers

Willa's point of view

 

It is hard to believe that dancing with a dwarf would ever be the lesser of two embarrassing situations, but my relief at not having to hear apologies from the one who spurned me temporarily drowns out the murmurs I hear from the crowd. We have been dancing in silence for nearly a minute, neither one of us sure what to say now, seeing as discussing generational social immobility seems out of place on the dance floor.

 

"I heard what you said," he finally admits, nodding at the retreating form of Donnel. "It didn't seem like you wanted to dance with him."

 

"I wasn't aware I had spoken out loud," I admit, feeling like a fool. He doesn't say anything, but simply looks at me in the unnerving way he has that compels me to say more than I mean to. "There was a time…" I stutter, "...when I would have wanted-."

 

"Understood." Nodding, Fíli moves me out of the way of a couple trying to dance close enough to overhear our conversation. "Whatever happened though... it's his loss." The idea takes me by such surprise that I giggle before quickly stifling it. "You can laugh, I won't tell anyone." Knowing he's teasing me, I fix my mouth in its familiar grim line.

 

"I hardly laugh… at least, not in front of others."

 

"Well, if you're going to start, I'd start with laughing at him. He's got more ruffles on his clothes than you do." Slapping his shoulder with the fingers of the hand I'm holding onto him with, I bite the inside of my cheek and insist that I won't be starting with anyone, not even him.

 

"I humiliated myself pursuing him… as much as a lady could be accused of pursuing any man," I clarify, not wanting him to think the worst of me. "Of course, Prince Fíli, you may have noticed I have a knack for humiliating myself." My eyes are automatically drawn to Kíli… still sitting in his seat, pushing a lamb shank around his plate with a pitiful expression.

 

"Nah, he's the one that's embarrassed." Fíli does a quick turn and spins me away from where Kíli has me pinned under his gaze so abruptly that I nearly squeal with surprise. "He wasn't making fun of you, by the way… I swear it." Looking at his brother over my shoulder, he smiles fondly, if slightly concerned. "He really doesn't have a mean bone in his body." Remembering the grotesque expression he was making behind me, I sniff and insist that he might, in fact, have at least one small mean bone. "Well, we're dwarves, so all our bones are small." I start to giggle at such a ridiculous joke, but again manage to stifle it at the last minute. "You're starting to remind me of our Uncle Thorin… he never laughs either."

 

"Oh dear. Am I as terrifying?" I whisper, leaning in for fear of being heard and subsequently melted by one of his stern looks.

 

"Not at all… well, maybe to Kíli," he teases, sending my heart skipping over and over at the idea.

 

"I can't imagine why," I reply airily, hoping it isn't obvious that I'm fishing. "I'm barely a few inches taller than he is."

 

"That's… not what I mean," he replies awkwardly before clamming up. Now it's my turn to look at him until he breaks. It's not a comfortable feeling for me. I've always been the smoother, the pleaser… always quick to fill an awkward silence with whatever will make all parties comfortable again. But this time I force myself to hold on, to keep my eyes fixed on him until he breaks. Seeming sorry that he brought it up, he blows out a heavy breath and starts, "Princess Wilfreda…" Setting aside all joking, he asks if discretion is a trait I possess.

 

"I would like to think it's one of my best traits."

 

"Well, then: I think what makes my brother look at you the way he is right now is his… interest in you." Unable to resist, I crane my neck around in order to see just what kind of look he means. Watching me from his seat, forlorn and puppy-like, Kíli seems to deflate when I shiver and hold tighter to his brother.

 

"That's… very unusual. For a dwarf, I mean," I stutter, forcing myself to turn away so that I don't forget to keep my feet moving. "To feel that way, I mean."

 

"Very," Fíli replies without a hint of humor in his tone.

 

"I-" The thumping of my heart threatens to drown out my words and I lean in so that there is no risk of being misunderstood. "I suppose you could say that I consider myself rather unusual too… for a woman." I can feel his heavy sigh, even through his thick coat. He doesn't seem to take this as good news, but says nothing. He's saved, anyway, by the end of the song.

 

The music finishes with polite applause from everyone, except for Fíli and myself as he is too busy offering me an arm to help me back to my seat. We have to stop once along the way for me to get my feet under me properly before I can carry on. Whispering in his ear the sad secret of my instability, I give him a grateful smile when he automatically loops an arm around my waist and supports me while pulling my chair out with the other hand. Kíli jumps up to pull out my chair as well, leading to an accidental tug of war between the brothers. Fíli releases his grip with an awkward shrug, looking unsure of what to say except to thank me for the dance.

 

"Was that my Willa?" Father's voice rings out from down the table as he leans forward with a pleased expression. "Was that my Willa… dancing?" Blushing as I look over at Fíli, I give Father a smile and reply that I'm having a lovely time. Looking at the dwarf princes as if he is considering asking their uncle to sell them to me as pets, he nods thoughtfully before wondering aloud to the visiting king if they will be joining him on the next part of his expedition.

 

"Expedition?" Fíli says, leaning around me to look at Kíli with raised brows. Shrugging, Kíli pulls his own chair back into the table, avoiding exchanging glances with either of us. I want to say something to communicate that I am feeling the same things I think he is feeling, but don't dare speak when my father is addressing the table. Spotting his hand on his leg, I reach out before I can chastise myself for being so forward and graze the backs of his fingers with the tips of my own. I don't know why I do it… except that I feel I might be the reason behind his dejected look and I can't bear it. His eyes snap up in shock and I smile softly, hoping he will understand what I am trying to tell him.

 

"Yes, we leave tomorrow morning." Pushing his decimated plate away, King Thorin excuses himself with a thank you to my father for his hospitality.

 

"Why the rush?" Father's eyes alight on my cake as it is wheeled into the room, he brightens and suggests I take 'the young princes' to see Swanfleet tomorrow. "Let them have a little fun."

 

"That's all they have," he grumbles as he looks at his nephews with a scowl. My father laughs and claps his guest of honor on the shoulders, not taking him seriously as he insists that maybe some of my gravity will rub off on them after all. He can't see the look Thorin is giving me, a look of disdain and suddenly I wonder if looks such as those are why Kíli behaves the way he does. Not saying anything else, their king nods to me with the minimum of respect I am entitled to and leaves the table with no further argument.

 

"That settles it," my father gestures for me to rise as the servers set the multi-tiered swan adorned monstrosity in front of me and begin the process of lighting all eighteen candles. "But for now, you have a wish to make!" Fíli pulls my chair out and I start to stand but falter. Before I can ask, Kíli takes my arm and rises with a strange expression on his face. Pulling me to my feet he stands, solid and patient, as I lean over the table and close my eyes.

 

'Thank you, Eru, for giving me another year of life,' I begin the same silent prayer I pray every year. 'Forgive me for the hours I wasted, the chances to be productive that I failed to take, for the opportunities to serve that I missed in this past year. Help me in the days ahead to make this my most worthwhile year yet…and through it bring pride to my loved ones.' Becoming conscious of a strong hand resting on the small of my back, I shiver and make another wish silently – and please, let me not be making a fool of myself.

 

Helping me back into my seat as the cake is removed for serving, Kíli sits down again – this time a little closer than before. Glancing from my hands to my eyes, he waits to see if I will reach for him again, and when I do he smiles. It's a smile that I would hate on anyone else, slightly smug and very amused, but to see it on his face and know that I'm the cause? It's as if I've discovered an ability to conjure magic I never knew I possessed. Covering my hand with his, he laces our fingers together and rubs his rough thumb against my skin while nodding politely when my father asks him and Fíli if the journey from the Blue Mountains was an easy one.

 

"What exactly are you doing?" I finally whisper when there is a break in the conversation.

 

"I don't know," he answers honestly, looking sheepish. "What are you doing?" The offer to stop is implied, but I ignore it and instead respond that I don't know what I'm doing either.

 

"You're being very forward," I attempt to chastise him when he moves our entwined hands back onto my leg, but it falls flat when he sees the flush on my cheeks.

 

"You don't mind," he says matter of factly as his thumb widens its strokes to include my thigh. Swallowing hard, I realize there is nothing I can say that wouldn't be salacious or a lie… and I'm not willing to speak either.

 

"I hope you didn't ask for that disgusting lemon filling this year!" A voice practically booms from behind us, causing Kíli's face to pale and his cocky attitude to drain away. My brother leans over my chair, still complaining about my taste in cake, but his words trail off when he notices what is hidden from everyone else by the table. "Willa," he chokes as I try to yank my hand back, but Kíli tightens his grip and meets my brother's eyes boldly. "Are you… what…" Ellar looks over at Fíli, who I notice is resting his head on his hand, looking as if he is nursing a sudden headache. Torn between shock and outrage at the idea of anyone, much less a dwarf, laying a hand on his sister, he finally settles on a stammering anger that quickly attracts attention.

 

"Is something wrong?" Father calls from down the table, putting aside a conversation with Chancellor Gardner. "Ellar? You look stricken." I wish I could remind my brother of all the times I have covered for him, provided his alibis… but all I can do is plead with him silently and hold my breath.

 

"What? No… no. Perhaps… just too much wine tonight." Shaking his head, our father suggests he go sleep it off so he'll be fresh in the morning. "Willa is entertaining the princes tomorrow with brunch at Swanfleet. Maybe you'd like to tag along and take them shooting?" Tearing his eyes from me to level an uncharacteristically serious stare at Kíli, he nods slowly and agrees that it is a fine idea.

 

"In fact… shooting is just what I have in mind."

 


End file.
